So, in October 2012, our family down sized, no, not the house, but the amount of people who live in the family home. Dad left because mum kicked him out, he was/is a dick whole sleeps around. Now, I always assumed, if something like this ever happened, it would cause havoc for all of us, but it appears I was wrong.
Sure, mum was and I imagine sometimes still is upset (how could she not be, she committed to this guy for life), but it has never felt odd that he moved out, not once. We sometimes talk about it, its partly due to him having been in the RAF, he would be away for up to 6 months in a year. But it is also partly because we hadn’t really been a 4 for a very long time.
Both my sister and I were desperate to move out, mum was unhappy too, he was such a control freak! He always wanted to know everything that we were doing, not in a nice sharing way, but so he could put his 2pence in and tell us how we were going to do it wrong. But also we had very little in common, he wouldn’t even do the niceties of pretending to be all that interested, which led to us just hiding what we were doing, or just not doing anything.
It also highlighted how close to mum we are, she never missed a birthday (she missed Em’s in 2014 to see her brother in Australia, that doesn’t count), but he missed loads. I think he missed 10 before I was 18, he missed at least 6 of Em’s. He was a shit father who left everything to mum, prioritising going on non mandatory trips so he could have fun doing the things he loved.
Now, I’m going to stop dad bashing and focus on the good, the 3 of us get on, we quite like being a trio. We have the right balance of being together and respecting each other when someone wants to do something alone. I have tried in the last few years to engage dad in a few things I like, such as sporting events, something he always likes the idea of but then seems bored. So, due to this, last weekend was the last time we do any such events (sorry dad)!
We worry more in this house about what makes us happy, we do what we want. Mum and Em go on expensive holidays, I enjoy going out a few times a week. I’m even going on holiday with them next Christmas (2016)! I never thought I would want to fly to the US again but I do.
We now have a dog, which the three of us always wanted but was never allowed, he doesn’t permit you to fall into a state of selfishness, you have to give him attention and love, which I think is healthy for all of us/
I think the point of this blog is, sometimes things have to feel like they get worse to get better. A family break up is never ideal, but normally happens for a reason and brings to light some suppressed feelings of unhappiness.
If it were not for the fact I am lazy, I’d be looking for another job right now. I really feel I should start looking soon, but it is quite hard to get motivated, where does one start? I clearly don’t like my job, I feel very under valued right now. The main problem is I feel very insulted. Around Christmas some new roles became available, I applied for an admin one, prepared eel, researched it, had questions ready etc. The interview went very well I feel, my best interview ever, my answers were good, there was little nervous noises etc.
I think it is obvious by now, I didn’t get the job. That is fine, someone better must have got it, someone with no experience? I hoped to find out with some feedback, only I didn’t get any useful feedback, was just told I lacked passion in one part of my interview. What the hell does that mean? Thats no a valid bit of feedback surely? To top it all off, the person I would have been working under started telling people no one applied, excuse me? I can accept not getting the job, its not my right, but don’t insult me like that, it is just not on. I was told I was welcome to do some of the work for the role though, to gain experience, to better myself if the role became available again. No thank you, you can stick that comment where the sun don’t shine for all I care.
Ever since then, work have been odd with me. The high up people don’t talk to me, which is ok, just bizarre.
I’ve fallen back in love with football, I had a spell of tolerating it, watching it for the sake of it. This sounds odd, why watch it if I no longer love it? Habit I guess, what else is there to watch on a Sunday?
But I tell you what has made me love it again, look forward to watching a match. Its going to watch Cambridge United, almost every home game this season, with my mates. It is pretty much the most fun I can have, it doesn’t matter what quality the game being played is like, I know I am going to have fun. Be it us playing Cheltenham on a bloody windy Tuesday night night in October, Manchester United on a freezing cold Friday night in January or watching them beat Gateshead in the play off final on a lovely warm weekend in May.
I know I am going to have fun because we have a laugh, the three of us chat about the game, chat about anything, chat crap, take the piss out of each other, always light hearted, rarely serious. I know it sounds weird, but looking forward to the chats has given me a new habit, football in the background while we chat, only the game is live, not on tv, but I’m there, ha.
•177,777 job seekers’ allowance claims of £56.25 for one week
•Two years of foreign aid to Iraq
•152 MPs’ salaries
•The upkeep and maintenance of England’s cathedrals for one year
•1,999 students’ annual tuition fees
•25,773 household electricity and water bills for one year
•Double the UK’s funding for global human rights projects on sexual violence against women and girls
•Pay for the monarchy for three months
•Double the funding designed to boost innovation in offshore wind turbines.
•322 nurses for one year on £31,095 each
•Buy two tonnes of European white truffles (£2,300 a pound)
•A mortgage on Dracula’s Castle in Romania (full value £86 million).
Best spend it on a woman who is estimated to be worth 66million eh?
Right, today I went to Peterborough City hospital, to see a specialist regarding my foot, which is rolling inwards. The only way to correct my foot, is to perform surgery, it entails cutting tendons, fusing bones together etc. Now, I don ‘t like the sound of that, but I know it needs doing, without it, I will carry on being in pain.
Of course with any surgery, after care is needed, how ever, I am not a typical case, I can’t walk. Normally, you get the surgery, then the next day, given a pair of sticks, sent home, told to stay off the foot and keep elevated. Problem for me is, I’m not good on my two legs, will never manage on one, even though I don’t walk, I need them for many, many things.
I explained this to the Doctor, who said he would refer me to an occupational therapist. The OT department at the hospital have said, they will not access me, until I have had the surgery. That is right, not until I have had the life changing surgery that would see me bed bound for 3 months. This to me, is not acceptable, I need to know in advance what will be put in place for me. I need to know how I am going to manage at home, things need putting into place.
The OT department then said, contact my local authority, fib a bit, pretend I’m not having surgery, tell them I am in a worse state than I really am. Yes, they want me to lie! Well that won’t work, for 2 reasons. 1: I will not lie about my disability or anything to do with it. 2: I had an OT here a few weeks ago, he knows what I can do, would look odd if i suddenly said I can’t do all those things.
We left the appointment feeling as though we have no real answers, the hospitals OT have said they will see what they can do, but insist they will not access my needs until after the op, I insist there will be no op, unless i know about the aftercare. Why would I have a painful op, only to be screwed after? They argue we won’t know what my needs will be, until after the op, I argue with do know, I won’t be able to use my right leg at all.
Why are they so unwilling to look into this? Why are they willing to get the expensive bit right (the surgery), but not prepared to get the arguably cheaper bit, the after care right?
I am most annoyed.
What can I say? It has all been very quiet of late, been to a gig, a comedy show, few days out etc.
The best thing I’ve done in the last few weeks is going to see “Biffy Clyro”, at the o2 Arena. I went with Will and his two brothers, it was a great laugh to be honest, they are great company. I also went on the Cable Car at the the o2, it goes across the river (and back), you get some great views for only a few quid.
The gig was amazing, the set list was fantastic, one of the best gigs I’ve been too.
I’ve been up to other things, went to an antiques fair with Matt (@smegfirk), that was erm, cold and snowy, oh, did I say cold?